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How To: Ersatz-Jambalaya

Ersatz Jambalaya

After the angry rant I added earlier, it’s now time for something different. Specifically, a recipe for ersatz-jambalaya – sort of like the Cajun dish, but adjusted for incompetence, ignorance and ingredients found in SE London. It was created using my patented method of watching a recipe on TV, forgetting to make any kind of notes then trying to recreate it from my hazy memories at a later point – but unlike the legendary “sweaty lamb balls” (don’t ask) it worked out pretty well. Anyhow, here goes:

First, heat olive oil in the biggest pan you can find (here, a less than traditional wok). Cook smoked sausage (random Polish stuff) until it smells all smokey and good. Add chopped onion, celery and green peppers, then paprika.

Next, add chicken and prawns and cook a bit. Then some chopped chilli and oregano. Finally, add half a pound of rice and about a pint and a half of stock. Wait 20-25 minutes, keeping cats away and stirring from time to time.

That’s it. Attempt the above at your own risk, obviously.

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